Adjusting

I have only been gone 11 weeks but it feels sooo much longer than that!  I feel like I lived in another world and yet coming back home feels- at the same time- like I have never left.  I still hold on to every memory of the summer tight like I can't let it go; I don't want to ever forget the friends, the kids, and the experiences I had in New Mexico.
I am struggling with sleeping.  The room feels so hot and the walls cave in around me and I miss my canvas tent.  I miss the wind whipping against the flaps and the cool, desert night air seeping through my zipped open window- and the sounds of the night: wind, bugs, coyotes and the often present sound of thunder rolling across the flat desert and crashing into the surrounding mountains and mesas.
I miss seeing my best friends every day.  I miss their laugh, their smiles and their wit and banter.  I miss the kids: singing songs, playing games and hiking.  I even miss the uniform, the same red polo that the other 1200 staff memebers were wearing.  I miss feeling stress free and happy.  No school or work or money problems because I put all my focus and energy into living in the moment, being an awesome group leader and having a great summer with my new best friends. 

I am super excited for school.  I student teach in the spring and things are starting to feel like they are clicking into place.  I am ready to head back to CHASP and even teach piano again.  But I feel slightly lost and the readjusting is tougher than I thought. 

Phimont Here's to Thee..

Silver on the sage

Starlit skies above

Aspen covered hills

Country that I love.. 

Philmont here's to thee

Scouting Paradise

Out in God's country... 

Tonight. 


I don't ever know where to begin.  I spent my summer 600 miles away- living in the desert and in a canvas tent.  I was part of a team of over 1200 people all wearing identical red polo shirts, coming from every state and hundreds from across the world.  I worked at Philmont Scout Ranch in Cimarron New Mexico.  I drove down there not knowing a single soul, not knowing what to expect.  I figured that because I had worked at scout camp for seven years, spent three years working at an Afterschool program and majoring in Elementary Education that being a Philmont Training Center (PTC from here on out) would be easy.  I had a lot to learn.  However, I didn't just learn about how to work with kids, I learned more about my self than I ever imagined possible. 

Philmont is massive.  It is bigger than most people think it is, nearly 150 thousand acres of land donated by mr. Waite Phillips in 1938 and originally named "Philturn Rocky Mountain Scout Camp".  Over the years the Ranch grew and so did it's reputation.  Philmont is a place where scouts, venturing crews and individuals can come to experience a number of different kinds of backpacking treks from a short 5 night adventure to a 21 day physical and mental challenge called "Rayado".  Last summer me and my cousin Debbie had the opportunity to complete a 'Mountain Trek' and I couldn't stay away from the beauty of Philmont. 

This summer I was a Group Leader at the PTC.  Participants come in from all over the country to take part in different classes and conferences that go on all summer long.  They bring their families with them and my job comes into play.  Each week I am assigned to a different age group.  We work together in groups of about 2 or 3 GLs to take a group of kids.  We hike, we do Handicraft, pony/horse rides, archery and pellet guns, tour through the Villa Philmonte and even go on overnighters with the older kids, and play games and sing songs all week long.  Best. Job.  Ever.    I loved every group that I got and I worked pretty well with the other GLs- we all became best friends, the 24 of us. 

The hardest part of being a Group Leader was learning to work with others and accept their styes of teaching and leadership.  It was easy to butt heads sometimes but it taught me to accept differences in others and to communicate and collaborate.  I loved the kids.  Each week was so very different and it was cool to meet kids from all over the place- I even worked with a litte boy from England!  I can't wait to be a teacher!

Working with the kids was fantastic but that isn't where I learned who I was.  Being in New Mexico- so far away from home and far away from the bubble of Utah- I was able to really understand my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  1200 staff member, 60 of us were Mormon and even less that that number made it to our church group every Sunday Morning.  At PTC my best friends became the other LDS people.  Lisa, Jess, Lesly, Stephers, Chun Man, Ryan and Amanda.  We had a chapel and a Chaplain.  His name was Elder Wilson and he and his wife became my temporary parents for the summer.  Each Sunday morning we met for two hours and had Sunday School, Relief Society and we partook of the Sacrament.  It was an incredible experience.  Our numbers were few- perhaps only ten to twenty of us that could attend church each week.  You see at Phimont, Sunday is just another day of the week.  Luckily- I got it off most of the time.  We were also able to attend Family Home Evening each Monday evening (when my schedule allowed it) and and Institute class on Leadership. 

At Philmont- it can be very hard to stand up for who you are.  I had never realized how common it is to use the Fword in daily vocabulary, how popular it is to go out drinking on the weekends and how commonplace it is to get a tatoo of the Phimont arrowhead or the Zhia- the the New Mexican sun. Right off the bat, people will learn that you are one of those 'Darn der Marmans', the 'Mo Mos', or the 'Mormon kids'.  People ask questions and you have to be ready.  I wasn't expecting Philmont to be a mission, but it was just that.  Every day I was an example by what I said and how I acted.  People starred as I blessed my food at each meal and laughed as I used my Mormon euphemisms such as 'heck', 'darn' and 'shoot'.  My staunch Catholic roommate became my best friend and she was amazed by my nightly routine of journal, scripture study and prayer before I snuggled into bed. 

I gave away a few copies of the Book of Mormon and taken part in countess religious discussions- sharing my knowledge of the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  I never realized before that I had taken my religion for granted, that until this summer I had never been truly challenged in my beliefs.  But as I see thousands of other people who don't have the knowledge that I know- I hold tight to what I know because it brings me such incredible happiness.  I have listened to what others have to say about their own religion and all I can say is that what I know makes sense!  It is like some amazing, beautiful puzzle without a single piece missing from it!  It is all here and we only need to turn to the Lord to find true happiness! 

I had that opportunity to perform Baptisms for the Dead at the Denver Temple with my LDS groupies and best friends.  I remember sitting there in white, waiting for my turn.  Me and my best friend Stephers flipping through the Temple issue of the Ensign- and how together we broke down crying, feeling the Spirit so strongly and talking to each other about how we had never fully comprehended how important it all is. 

I was able to be a missionary to a 13 year old boy and send him home with a Book of Mormon, explain to the Gospel to my roommates sister, explain my CTR necklace to hundreds, teach someone how to pray, attend a Catholic mass and realize how important Priesthood authority is.  I can't even explain everything that I learned about my self and my testimony from Philmont.  But I am stronger, and happier and more understanding of the Gospel than I ever have been in my entire life.  The Church is sooo true!! 


Back to Philmont.. what did I do this summer?/

Hiked the 'Tooth of Time'
Hiked 'Baldy Mountain' 12441 feet tall.  Hardest thing I've ever done.
Explored the city of Santa Fe.
Slid down the Great Sand Dunes.
Played in Toas, New Mexico.
Ate at Wonderful House Chinese restaurant many, many times. 
Make best friends to last a lifetime.
Learned to country dance.  I can two step! 
Finay saw 'Follow me boys'.
Bushwacked up the side of a mountain.
Played with ponies, goats, chickens and cows. \
Swam in beautiful lake.
Got a tan.
Learned to flyfish.
Went horseback riding.
Slept in a tent all summer.
Backpacked.
Visited 9 staff camps.
Learned awesome new games and songs.
And Sooo much more!

Yeah, Philmont sort of changed my life ;)

Wind in whispering pines, 

Eagles soaring high, 

Purple mountains rise, 

Against as azure sky.

Phimont here's to thee,

Scouting Paradise..

Out in God's Country..

Tonight.