My room is a messy.. not necessarily dirty but just cluttered! I have WAY too many books, shoes that won't fit in my closet or keep spilling out because I have dig through them to find matching chucks. My 9 or 10 text books scatter the floor with notes, and handouts spilling out of them. I was going through my Bartlett Box and Letters/notes box.. they litter the floor.
When I was a little girl there was a girl that lived down the street from me and we were very close. Our mom's were best friends (still are) but her dad got some great new job in Moses Lake Washington and they moved away. Sad day. Until I was 12 years old I wrote letters to this girl, we were pretty much pen pals-exchanging letters full of stickers and smelly spray, cramming evelopes with candies and pictures. We visited eachother in the summer. At the end of every single one of her letters it was "your very best friend' or 'bff' or 'Bestest most faraway friend'. One fall she visited.. she had some huge dance competition or something down here. We went to the mall and out to a restaurant and that was it. I never talked to her again. Until two days ago when she friend requested me on Facebook. Oh Facebook..
I'm not saying I want to be some freak who can't escape childhood and wants her old best friend back.. but it just has me thinking. Why don't things stay the same. Why do people who say they'll be friends forever and ever.. just sort fall away from eachother. Why did I not keep up the letters, the visits? She has been married 3 years to an incredible guy. She is doing so well, so talented, so beautiful. It is so amazing to see pictures and recconnect after 8 years. It is so funny how things just come back into your life. I have a picture that's hung at my desk (with tons of others) of me, this girl and another friend (who also ironically just can back into my life again) standing on a fence together at Lagoon. Life is funny.
We had 3 short days in a row last week. We ran out of things to do with the kids halfway through the second day. Thankfully kids don't get bored. Give them toys, recess, computers and they're perfectly content. I was ready to rip my head off. My problem child is out of the program and as much I'm overflowing with happiness and relief to berid my self of this severly ADHD, socially messed up kid.. I'm going to miss him!
I start teaching on Monday. I'm nervous. A whole class of first graders.. by myself! Can I really do this?
It's all about jumping through the hoops. E.E is SO hard. All the lesson plans, all the papers, the presentations, having everything is a specific format... it really gets me down. I hope I can make it untill next spring!!
All my friends are moving onto Level 3 next semester, then onto Student Teaching and graduation next fall. I am stupid and put off my stinking SI courses so I have to take a semester off to finish them up. I'm ready to take a break and take some easy science classes, but I'm going to miss all the other girls. A few of them are staying with me. Carly, Whitney, Elizabeth.. two of my coworking that started the program at the same time I did are almost a year ahead of me!!
I'm getting fat. Really. I'm taking swimming and weight lifting next semster. I'm hoping that will help. I miss swim team SO much and it's been 4 years since I was on it. I miss being part of a team, waking up early every morning and driving over to Ogden High with Bills. During High School swimming was such a big part of who I was and now it's gone. Same with art. When my art was hanging up in the AP art window I felt famous. I loved spending hours everyday drawing and painting.. I don't have time and I feel I've lost my talent. If possible I would take an art class.
I'm trying to read all the Harry Potter books before the movie. I need to read the last two in less than a week.. I'm so excited for the movie. I watched Half Blood Prince today and kept crying at random times! I'm such a boob.
007 is a really violent video game... we woke up Kylie with our screaming and she wanders out to ask us 'is someone being murdered?' yes.. on the video game!
It is sad when you start to not miss someone as much because you get so used to them not being there, like other things or people are replacing them... but at the same time it's happy because you don't spend so much time thinking about them.
One of my best friends killed himself this summer. I go numb and put it out of my mind and then I'll go hang out with my friends and someone brings up his name and talks about old memories and the cut just rips open again.
I was one of only 2 of my best friends from high school that was not married or married and pregnant. I almost didn't want to go to the baby shower. It is hard seeing all of your friends moving on. But I realized that night that I'm not really upset. I miss them, but I can't live in the past. I'm actually very, very, very happy for them. And I can't wait to meet baby boy Logan Ballard.
I found the conference Ensign today. I need to sit down and read it. I love 1pm church. I love sleeping in a Sundays...
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