When Life Gives you Lemons..

I want things that I can't have right now. 
I want to move out of my parents house into my own cute little house with my own cat where I would cook my own food and keep everything emmaculate.  But I don't have the money or the time right now so living in my parents house is what I need to do for the next year or so.  I want a brand new wardrobe so that I can look adorable every day.  But I don't have the money right now.  I want to be a teacher.  But I need to survive school first.  I want to go back to Philmont this summer.  Or Northern Teir, Florida Sea Base or Catalina Island.  But I need to stay local so that I can get a teaching job. 

I want to go on a mission.  However I know that I could make it work- I don't think that is what I am supposed to be doing at this time. 

Life is complicated and crazy and incredible and you don't always get what you want because you were born at a specific time in a specific place into a specific family for reasons that you can't always understand.  I can't just pack up and leave.. even though I sort of wish I could- because this where I am right now.  I need to make the absolute most of it. 

I want to be married.  Yes, I admit it.  Or at least have a boyfriend.  Or even dated...   BUT- let me complain in this blog and then I promise to shut up about the matter. 
Because I'm sure that LOTS of girls are experiencing exactly what I am.  I wish more than anything that a guy would ask me on a date.  It is painful to hear girls talking about the dates they've been on.  I hate 'dating ideas' and eternal marriage lessons in church and Institute because it seems so unrelistic to me right now.  I know how important marriage and families are and it is so sad that so many women don't get to experience that joy.  Sometimes it makes me so angry, how much the institute and the Single's wards pushes dating on us.  But it's necessary.  It's part of God's plan for us. 
So... as part of the 'new me' plan that I have in my head I am not allowed to feel sorry for myself.  I am not allowed to get angry at the girls that date or the boys that ignore me.  Because. it. doesn't. matter.  I am young and I have so much going for me that I just need to have faith that everything will work out.  I know that I'll be married someday.
Steps to Bethany Taylor's marriage plan.

#1 Stop complaining  and stop feeling sorry for myself
#2 Focus on being better. Study the scriptures more dilligently, be more meaningful in prayer and be a good student.  Graduate and get a good teaching job.
#3 Make myself more attractive to guys without complaining or being pittied.  Dress myself up, smile and learn how to flirt.  Gain more self confidence. 
#4 Have fun.  Hang out with friends and meet lots of people. Try to date, try online dating, having people set me up and even asking the guys out myself. 
#5 Eventually meet the right guy and get married. 


So last week a friend of mine died.  She was a group leader with me at Philmont this summer.  She was  the most obnoxious, outspoken, bossy I've ever known.  But she was sweet, friendly, funny and genuine- and I miss her.  She was 20 years old.  She was doing an internship for Disney Land.  She was riding her bike home from work and was hit by a car. 

That night I had a dream.  All of the group leaders were eating at our favorite chinese restuarant.  Maggie was with us.  We laughed and took pictures and enjoyed eachothers company. 

Live live to the fullest.  Don't stop and say 'what if', 'just wait-', or 'when'.  Be happy now.  Be the best person you can possibly be.  Don't complain, don't dream of only the future, and don't let the happy memories of today slip away. 

Because when life gives you lemons- make some gourmet lemonade. 

Top Five.. an insight into my strange thinking.

My blog is nothing too interesting.  I like to ramble.  :)

Top Five...

Greatest Inventions of all time:

The rubber spatula
The Big Mac
Contact Lenses
The ballpoint pen
Books.. (maybe thats not really an invention.. but whatever)

Best Movie Kisses

You've Got Mail..  "I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly."
The Cutting Edge   "You didn't have to do it" "Yes I did"  "Why?"  "Because I love you too"
The Proposal   "I'm Scared.. ", "Me too,"
Back to the Future.. nuff said.
The Parent Trap (new one)- 'cause kissing your ex in the rain after 12 years is pretty sweet.

Candy Bars

Snickers
5th avenue
Symphony with toffee
Twix
Does a Tootsi Roll count?

Books (fiction)

Holes, by Louis Sachar
Farmer Boy- by Laura Ingels Wilder
The Harry Potter series, by J.K.Rowling
James Herriot books
The Percy Jackson Series

Movies

Back to the Future
Mary Poppins
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Return of the Jedi
Marley and Me

Wierd facts about me

I really, really love Twinkies. 
I sing along to the radio.
I am a compulsive doodler.
I rip off my finger nails constantly.
I constantly am thinking up stories.. and fanfics.. in my head.

Things I wish I could change right now

My relationship with certain siblings
Total awkwardness and a possible destoyed friendship
My motivation.  I wish I could do much better in school.
My wardrobe
My basketball skills..

Things that kids do that bug me

Poke me and repeat my name again and again and again.  Because I obviously didn't hear them the first time.
Make fun of eachother and then say "Just kidding!"
Running up behind me, jumping onto my back and nearly pushing me to the ground. 
Throwing dodge balls at you.. I know that is the point of the game.  But it is humiliating when the adults lose..
Asking for candy after everything they do.  Lousy reward systems. 

Things about kids that I love

When they laugh at my stupid jokes or sing along with me to goofy camp songs. 
Hugs
Willingness to help with whatever needs to be done.  Especially if it isn't for candy.
When they want to play with them on the playground.
When they actually do their homework.

Reasons I want to be a teacher

My own classroom.  Control.
I really love to teach.  And I'm pretty good at it.
So that I won't be a student anymore.  I'm a really lousy student.
Getting paid to teach instead of paying to teach.
Nurturing the young mind.  I love to see kids learn and be happy. 

Reasons why Level 3- Elementary Education at Weber State is a joke

3 hours in a science class coloring make believe animals
Expectations to write and turn in lesson plans when we haven't even been in the classroom yet.
Professors who call you 'gang' and won't let you use the backdoor during class.
Everything due the exact same week. 
Expecting us to integrate.. not every lesson can be integrated!!

Things I love about Ogden, Utah

The Mountains
25th street taco stands
The Union Station
An easy to follow street system
Awesome history rich in murders, ghosts, railroads, red light districts and Weber State.

Things I should be doing instead of blogging

Illustrating my picture book- due Friday
Studying my scriptures and working on getting through 'Jesus The Christ'
Kicking two cats out of my room
Sleeping..
tidying up the room and making sure I have clean clothes to wear tomorrow.

Reasons to love the Institute

Brother Thorpe
Free popcorn- I'm addicted.
Comfy chairs and awesome people to talk to all the time.
The amazing Spirit felt.
My Book of Mormon classmates.

Reasons Institute can annoy me.

Sister Seamon's 'dating ideas'.  Rub salt in the wound..
6:45 committee meetings.
Spending 20 minutes on anouncements and devotional. 
Singing 'Sweet Hour of Prayer' once a week.
Awkwardness now felt by sharing class with a certain guy.

Things I miss about Philmont

The Sunsets. 
Rachel Strayhall, Stephers Tobias, Lisa Barnes, Chun Man Chui and everyone else
My tent
Having meals prepared for me.  Tasty too.
Hiking.

Things I am not sure about

Passing the Praxis
Ever dating or getting married.
If I can really read 'Jesus the Christ' all the way through.
How I'm going to get salt dough by tomorrow..
River systems.