When Life Gives you Lemons..

I want things that I can't have right now. 
I want to move out of my parents house into my own cute little house with my own cat where I would cook my own food and keep everything emmaculate.  But I don't have the money or the time right now so living in my parents house is what I need to do for the next year or so.  I want a brand new wardrobe so that I can look adorable every day.  But I don't have the money right now.  I want to be a teacher.  But I need to survive school first.  I want to go back to Philmont this summer.  Or Northern Teir, Florida Sea Base or Catalina Island.  But I need to stay local so that I can get a teaching job. 

I want to go on a mission.  However I know that I could make it work- I don't think that is what I am supposed to be doing at this time. 

Life is complicated and crazy and incredible and you don't always get what you want because you were born at a specific time in a specific place into a specific family for reasons that you can't always understand.  I can't just pack up and leave.. even though I sort of wish I could- because this where I am right now.  I need to make the absolute most of it. 

I want to be married.  Yes, I admit it.  Or at least have a boyfriend.  Or even dated...   BUT- let me complain in this blog and then I promise to shut up about the matter. 
Because I'm sure that LOTS of girls are experiencing exactly what I am.  I wish more than anything that a guy would ask me on a date.  It is painful to hear girls talking about the dates they've been on.  I hate 'dating ideas' and eternal marriage lessons in church and Institute because it seems so unrelistic to me right now.  I know how important marriage and families are and it is so sad that so many women don't get to experience that joy.  Sometimes it makes me so angry, how much the institute and the Single's wards pushes dating on us.  But it's necessary.  It's part of God's plan for us. 
So... as part of the 'new me' plan that I have in my head I am not allowed to feel sorry for myself.  I am not allowed to get angry at the girls that date or the boys that ignore me.  Because. it. doesn't. matter.  I am young and I have so much going for me that I just need to have faith that everything will work out.  I know that I'll be married someday.
Steps to Bethany Taylor's marriage plan.

#1 Stop complaining  and stop feeling sorry for myself
#2 Focus on being better. Study the scriptures more dilligently, be more meaningful in prayer and be a good student.  Graduate and get a good teaching job.
#3 Make myself more attractive to guys without complaining or being pittied.  Dress myself up, smile and learn how to flirt.  Gain more self confidence. 
#4 Have fun.  Hang out with friends and meet lots of people. Try to date, try online dating, having people set me up and even asking the guys out myself. 
#5 Eventually meet the right guy and get married. 


So last week a friend of mine died.  She was a group leader with me at Philmont this summer.  She was  the most obnoxious, outspoken, bossy I've ever known.  But she was sweet, friendly, funny and genuine- and I miss her.  She was 20 years old.  She was doing an internship for Disney Land.  She was riding her bike home from work and was hit by a car. 

That night I had a dream.  All of the group leaders were eating at our favorite chinese restuarant.  Maggie was with us.  We laughed and took pictures and enjoyed eachothers company. 

Live live to the fullest.  Don't stop and say 'what if', 'just wait-', or 'when'.  Be happy now.  Be the best person you can possibly be.  Don't complain, don't dream of only the future, and don't let the happy memories of today slip away. 

Because when life gives you lemons- make some gourmet lemonade.